There’s a war going on outside, no man is safe
~Mobb Deep, Survival of the Fittest~
There are secret wars being waged everyday in New York and cities small and large all over the world. The combatants are not soldiers, gang bangers or your run of the mill knuckleheads. These are ring wars and wives and fiances are on the front lines. Grocery store lines, subway rides and any other place where strangers are in close proximity, are prime battle locations. I inadvertently participated in a ring war the other day. This woman at the airport kept smelling her left palm or that’s what it looked like anyway. I was whispering to my husband about what a weirdo she was when I realized that she kept trying to get a look at my left hand. Then it was like “oooooooh.” Ring wars…duh. It took her a while to get a good look at my ring. Sorry random girl! I totally did not follow the rules.
Like any other kind of war, there are rules of engagement (no pun intended) for ring wars.
1) Do not acknowledge the existence of ring wars to others. (Note: Non-players just don’t understand.)
2) If you see a woman with a ring on the finger, you must covertly maneuver yourself to get a good look and determine the cut, quality, size and over all beauty of the ring.
3) If the ring appears to be bigger or prettier than yours, you must get a good look to determine the all important question “Is her ring prettier/bigger than mine?”
4) If the ring is in fact bigger and/or prettier than yours, you must nod, smile or verbally compliment the ring holder. (Note: Some women don’t do this and that is just awful. Wouldn’t you like to get a compliment from a random person about your ring?)
5) If your ring is superior to your opponent’s ring, make sure your opponent gets a good look at it and discretely make yourself available for a compliment (ie Don’t make the losing player have to wave you down) and say a sincere thank you when it happens.
6) Never whisper or say mean things about an opponent’s ring.
7) If your opponent seems mean spirited or otherwise snarky/snooty/lacking in manners, do not engage in play. Do not allow your opponent the pleasure of getting a good look at your ring.
8) Kiss your hubby/fiance when you get home for doing such a good job.
Oh and by the way, I won the war with that hand smelling chick. 🙂