I missed him. I missed him so much that my heart literally (LITERALLY!) ached at the thought of him. To make matters “worse” there was no earth-shattering break-up filled with expletives and insincere slights. We parted ways because I moved to another state and neither one of us was down with that awful, awful thing known as a long distance relationship. (Been there, done that. It sucked.) He was still a great guy, we both still respected eachother and we talked on a fairly regular basis.
Not once did we slip back into behaving like romantic partners, not even months later when I saw him back at home or when he saw me out here in New York. After years of friendship and a year and half of something more, we had settled back into friendship.
Even though I missed him more than I thought humanly possible at the time, it actually didn’t take that long for me to completely and totally move on from feeling some type of way about him. It helped that I hit the ground running once I got to New York. I was going out three or four times a week and I was not afraid to hit up an event solo. I was over the whole heartache thing in a matter of weeks.
I don’t know if my emotional valves are unusually efficient or if there’s some magic shortcut from the logic in my brain to the fluffy emotions in my heart, but I have never pined over a guy for too long. Given a little thought, there always seemed to be a very valid reason as to why a relationship was just not right for me. Cest la vie!
Over the course of my dating life, I’ve had all the usual bad things happen to me. I’ve been cheated on, stood up and all those other hurtful memories that clutter a dating history. How did I deal? I cried, wrote poems, had entirely too long phone conversations and just generally got over it. (By the way, I have way more awesome dating stories than bad ones.)
Like everyone else, there are songs that remind me of certain satan-loving exes. Of course their misdeeds spring to my mind when I hear the first few chords of those songs, but I seriously, really, truly do not feel some type of way about them anymore.
I’m no longer actively angry. I can acknowledge past bad behavior without becoming upset today. Eh. All of that stuff was a lifetime ago. In fact, I’m friends or at least acquaintances with a number of my ex-boyfriends.
My matter-of-fact attitude in dealing with exes makes it all the more difficult to understand exes who clearly STILL feel some type of way about me. I haven’t dated someone other than my husband in almost five years, so any ex of mine that is still caught up is a sad man indeed.
I do not suffer fools. If I catch a whiff of disrespect about my husband or my marriage, I do not hesitate to cut someone off. Today, that includes blocking on all the various social networks and I hate having to do something on my end to prevent someone else from making a fool of himself.
Dear readers, do you still feel some type of way about someone or something and how do you deal with pesky exes?