Long distance relationships suck. That’s really the bottom line here. Whenever my friends talk about embarking on a long distance relationship, my automatic response is “Noooooooooooo!”
Full disclosure, I had two long distance relationships. One was during undergrad and ended horribly before either of us graduated, due to his rampant cheating. The other was during grad school. The long distance thing didn’t last all that long actually because he moved to my area and eventually we lived together. That relationship ended horribly when ol’ boy just became a different human being (or some other human-like creature).
My disdain for long distance relationships actually doesn’t have much to do with the disastrous endings of my own long distance messes though. I realize that those were just not the guys for me at that time. Sure, I was more than a little heated with the undergrad antics when he fessed to it all, but it’s not something I sit and stew about these days. As for the other guy in grad school, our issues had nothing to do with distance. We didn’t even do the long distance thing for that long.
My beef with long distance is that it just inherently sucks. When you want to watch Boomerang on HBO on a random Wednesday night, you want your pookie bear to just be there to watch it with you. When you get snotty-nosed, can’t keep anything down, no way to get comfortable sick, surely you’d like snookie wookie to come and bring you chicken noodle soup and Pedialyte popsicles (That ish works in the clutch!) on his lunch break instead of merely calling with a kind word.
I understand that sometimes stuff just happens. Maybe you started out in the same area code, but school or a work assignment temporarily put you in different time zones. That, I can deal with. The important thing is that there is a plan and an end date to the long distance arrangement. But starting a serious relationship with somebody that lives hours away from jump? Nah. That situation automatically creates pressure. If you end up really being into each other you immediately bump into big issues like who is going to move and when. That means assigning value to each other’s careers, friendships and whatever else. Who can most afford to turn everything upside down for the other? Do you both move somewhere to make it “even?” Pooptastic all the way around.
I’ve written before about how I don’t believe in the idea of “the one.” Like, if you meet a great guy while you’re on vacation 900 miles away from home, I don’t think you need to try to do the long distance thing just because dude is something like awesome. Keep in touch, by all means, but unless you think you would actually be willing to move there or deal with everything that goes with him moving to you…I say, keep it flirtatious and platonic-ish.
I see stuff on the celeb gossip blogs sometimes about couples who live “bi-coastal” lives and only see each other every few weeks or so in between movies and concerts or whatever. Why the f*ck would they even get married? Makes no sense to me. None. I mean, do you I guess, but I don’t see how that kind of situation makes anyone happy.
What are your experiences with long distance relationships? Do they suck primate genitalia or are they possible with the right person?