Somewhere in 2004/2005, I was on an underwhelming date with a cute, but mumbling and not very confident guy. I was 25 and had been in NYC for less than a year. He was a 26-year-old NYC native, but somehow I had been to more clubs/restaurants/lounges than he had and he made a point to complain that he couldn’t “teach” me anything or “show” me anything. Not my fault he was lame, right?
We had already had a conversation about how I was in no way shape or form looking for a boyfriend (which was totally true) and in my head I was thinking that the date would be our last for sure. We had gone on a mini-date once before and I thought he was lame then, but I chalked it up to nerves and tried to give him another chance.
While in the ladies’ room, I got a call from a guy I had met the night before at one of those lounges Mr. Insecure had never been to. I’ll call that guy Alpha because he had that alpha male energy. So, Alpha invited me to come out to this club he was at that night. I told him I was with a male friend and he said that was fine. He said to tell the bouncer my name at the door and we’d be in.
I told Mr. Insecure that I wanted to go to this club and that a guy I knew was going to get us in. He was cool with that. Funny now that I think about it that neither one of them asked about my relationship with the other. I’m sure they had very different reasons though. Alpha just wasn’t worried about it and Mr. Insecure would have said okay to anything.
Mr. Insecure and I got to the club and just as Alpha promised, my name opened the door of the club instantly, much to the annoyance of the people waiting in the long line. I introduced the two men–just names, no extra info.
Alpha took my hand and led me to his table while Mr. Insecure tried to follow, but somehow got lost in the crowd. Honestly, I didn’t even really notice at first. After a few minutes of thoroughly enjoying Alpha’s conversation, he suggested that we go to another spot. That’s when I thought of Mr. Insecure. I texted him because there was no point in trying to have a phone conversation with the music blaring. I waited a few minutes, but he didn’t respond. Soooooo, I left with Alpha to the other place.
En route to location two, I got a text from Mr. Insecure asking where I was and that it was messed up that I left. I texted him back that I had tried to get in touch with him. I told him he should stay at the club and have fun. The next day Mr. Insecure called asking to be my boyfriend. *sigh*
Aside from the ridiculousness that was Mr. Insecure’s insecurity, I’m telling this story as an example of how not to give somebody the boot. I was sick of Mr. Insecure and was being unnecessarily callous. I wish a *insert ignorant word of choice* would be on a date with me and then have us go meet up with some other chick he’s seeing AND then leave me high and dry. Pffft. Dude should have had more respect for himself, but I also should have used more tact.
I’ve never ended a real relationship in such a casual manner, but I know folks who have been dumped or did the dumping via text or email. Not hot. There’s even a guy now who will call your significant other and break up with him/her for you. That’s ice cold right there.
Have you ever dumped someone in a not so nice way or been kicked to the curb with a steel toe instead of a gentle push?