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Oh! Let Me Tell You What He Did…

17 Aug

Do you have a girlfriend who details her endless daily drama with her boyfriend and then gets mad when you suggest that she leave him? Or how about the girlfriend who thinks every little thing her man does should be discussed, praised and cooed over?  There was once a woman (see, no identifying info there) who would bring to work pictures of her husband everyday. Every. Single. Day. You would think he was a newborn baby who actually changed or grew on a daily basis instead of some guy farting on the couch (said woman threw in fun facts about that). These two types of dames spew superlatives on polar opposite extremes, but they actually suffer from the same malady: over-sharing.

Sure, having a good giggle about a particularly ridiculous argument or a thoughtful surprise gift is fine, but there is such a thing as too much info.  Having to sit next to the venom-spewing hellion at the bar who has nothing but complaints about her man and everybody’s else’s is no fun and it’s also a guaranteed way to keep potentially interested men far far away. For those of you with loosey goosey “friends,” a lot of bragging about a man’s bedroom skills just might tempt some to try to experience those moves for themselves. Plus, usually when women only have rosy things to say about their relationships to their close friends, it’s either very new or something is very wrong that they aren’t willing to share or acknowledge yet.

I’ve been married for three years, with my husband for a total of five years and I try to strike a balance with what I share with friends. I don’t want to be the married woman who can’t have a conversation without saying “my huusssssssband” at least 10 times, but I also don’t want to make it seem like my marriage is some mysterious thing that is there but never talked about.  I share more of my joys than frustrations and in fact I have more joys than frustrations.  And anyway, some things are impossible to share in any meaningful way with someone who is not in your relationship. Certain little quirks/unspoken bonds in your relationship aren’t necessarily meant to be understood by others, so why try to explain them?

What say you, dear readers? Where is the line for talking about your man to your girls? Are you an over-sharer yourself? How have you dealt with over-sharing girlfriends?

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7 Comments

Posted by on August 17, 2010 in Love

 

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7 responses to “Oh! Let Me Tell You What He Did…

  1. TheFabChick

    August 17, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    I had a friend who over shared situations between her and her boyfriend, mostly all bad situations. All she did was nag and complain about him. I would encourage her to leave if she wasn’t happy, to go out and find happiness. She would turn around and say she doesn’t want to be single in this day and age, and then would say, “girl I don’t know how you do it, being single these days.” I guess that was a stab at me. Needless to say, her constant over sharing got annoying, thus it drove a wedge between our friendship. (shrugs) I will say, it has been less stress in my life. 🙂

     
  2. The Jaded NYer

    August 17, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    I keep stuff to myself; partly out of privacy and partly for protection. What if it all blows up in my face? Then I’ll forever be the girl who gushed over a guy who then turned around and shat on me.

    Plus my mom warned me about over-sharing intimate “couple” details…she said it could make someone covet what you have and try to take or sabotage it.

     
  3. Vic

    August 17, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    Brings in pics everyday? That’s just borderline psychotic. I would be terrified if I was her husband. That sounds like some “you can never leave me or I will kill you” type stuff.

     
  4. loveisdope

    August 18, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Vic, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the male perspective of this on your blog!

     
  5. Bemidji never Stops!!

    August 19, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Wow!! She brought in pictures of her husband every day!! WTHeck! That’s a sign of someone who is obsessed and I feel scared for her husband.

    My friends do a great job keeping a balance of what to share or what not to share. I haven’t been annoyed. But I do have “friendsz” that share too much about their kids!!! OMG!! So I can only imagine how you feel about a person constantly sharing about their relationships.

     
  6. D

    August 19, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I just had a situation where a friend was mad at her boyfriend. From the way she was relaying the store I felt as if she wanted me to co-sign her boyfriend bash moment. The only thing is I have a strict code to never be a part of the bashing,because the next day they’ll be back in love. Instead, I try to lead them to a decision and tell them they know what they can put up with and won’t, so it’s your decision to make.

    I always tell my friends what I’m feeling, but remind them that only you can change your situation, IF you want to change your situation.

     

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