The “True Blood” season finale left off with some big cliff hangers. Too big for my liking, really. I mean, we won’t see the “True Blood” gang again until next summer. Anywho, here’s my take on what happened (it’s not a play by play, I’m assuming you watched it) and a few of my predictions. Oh and I have not read any of the books that this series is based on, but I plan to read them all between now and season four.
Let’s dig in, dear readers!
Sookie is a Mean Fairy
I’m no fairy expert, but when I think of fairies I think of glitter and high-pitched voices and shy giggles. Sookie ain’t the one though! She straight put Talbot in the garbage disposal right in Russell’s (charred) face. Out cold. Sookie was angry through out the entire episode. Vampires were nothing but trouble for her the whole time. The giant chandelier thing that took Sookie was a little hokey even by campy “True Blood” standards. Fairies live in flying, intricate lighting fixtures, eh?
Alcide is just all types of gorgeous and Sookie needs to think about switching species. That vamp thing ain’t working out so well these days.
La La, Run Away From Jesus!
So, we find out what we already kind of figured. Jesus is not “just” a nurse. He’s a witch. I wonder if he knows the witch waitress at Merlotte’s. Hmm, is that being insensitive to assume that all witches know eachother? Perhaps. Anyway, Lafayette took the news a lot better than I thought he would have. If I was having crazy scary visions and my new man bust out with some “Oh that? You’ll get used to it. I’m a witch!,” I don’t think I could roll with that. Jesus is trouble, but I’ll get to that in the predictions.
Tara Transforms Into Frederick Douglass
I’m all for makeovers and goodness knows that of all the people on the show Tara is the one most in need of a life makeover. But that hair? WHY? It’s terrible. Awful. I hope Tara goes to see a professional hair stylist between now and season four. Tara is by far my least favorite character on the show. I love that Rutina Wesley has been getting steady work out of this show, but I wouldn’t care if Tara left “True Blood.” Would you?
Jason is Stuck in Snoozeville
I like Jason’s character alot, but this whole Crystal storyline is booooooring. I just don’t care about it, her or those toothless dirty people that Jason is now watching over.
Sam is a Gangsta
Sam might’ve apologized to Terry and all that, but he’s still a G. Looks like he shot his illiterate, thieving little brother in the back! I kinda like the more assertive Sam. He should incorporate a little of that with “nice” Sam more often.
Bill Ain’t Sh*t
Eric put Bill all the way on blast with Sookie. Remember when Sookie first met Bill at Merlotte’s? She got her a$$ kicked by two dudes behind the bar and Bill “saved” her with his blood and he also got to taste her fairy blood. Mmmhhmm. Well, Bill set that whole thing up and in fact he was sent by the Queen to go get Sookie because she knew Sookie was a fairy. All this lovey dovey stuff for three seasons and he was plottin’ from jump. Is it possible that he actually fell in love with her? Sure, but if I was Sookie I wouldn’t be bothered with that dead sap-sucker (one of my grandma’s favorite words).
1. Sookie will become a fighting fairy. She will learn how to use her powers and she’ll come back all ninja-like, kicking a$$ and taking names.
2. Alcide and Sookie will get together. They HAVE to!
3. Jesus is going to slowly, but surely start using Lafayette. I’m not sure for what exactly yet, but I think Jesus kinda chose Lafayette from the beginning. There’s something special about him that Jesus needs to complete some kind of nefarious goal.
4. Arlene is going to have Rene’s baby (which I suspect is what the witch waitress wanted anyway) and the baby will do funny gross things and try to kill people as soon as it gets out of the womb.
5. Sookie will kill Bill in the epic battle between species that will take place next season. She will also have a fling with Eric.
6. Tara is going to move away from Bon Temps.
7. Gran’s house will burn to the ground.
8. The Queen will meet the true death.
9. Russell will come back.
10. Layette will figure out what he is.
What did you think of the finale? What are your predictions?