Love Lessons for 2012

03 Jan

I’m not much of a resolutions kind of chick, but I do like January. There’s something refreshing about having a whole year’s worth of a clean slate. Lots of folks make commitments to themselves about health, money and the like, but it seems love was on the mind of many folks. The high profile divorces (Kobe Bryant, Deion Sanders, Katy Perry) and engagements (Michael Jordan, Matthew McConaughey, John Legend, Lebron James) in December of 2011 all point to a desire to start anew in 2012 on the love tip.

Got me to thinking about what love lessons (romantic and otherwise) I learned in 2011 from my own experiences and from what I’ve observed in others. I wrote a post about it. Like to read it, here it go * In Living Color voice *…

1. Give
The beginning of true humility is the ability to give with no expectations whatsoever. You have to be able to give for the sake of giving. Sometimes you won’t even get gratitude or a simple “thank you,” much less a return gesture and that’s fine. Your spouse might not notice that you alphabetized the dvd collection and that intern you put so much time into who has his first real job now, may never acknowledge your guidance. Give out of love/joy not expectation and life will be so much easier in 2012. Promise.

2. Let it Go
I believe in marriage, but I also believe in divorce. (Some people believe otherwise.) At times, there comes a point when you must recognize that you have given it all you have to create/maintain a healthy relationship and it just will not happen for whatever unfixable reason. This goes for professional relationships, friends and unfortunately sometimes family too. That magic tipping point is not always easy to spot and most people keep chugging along past a relationship’s expiration date because so much has been invested in the current relationship. Be brave and listen to your gut. On the opposite end of the letting go spectrum is letting go of negative feelings about petty transgressions. No need to keep a tally in your head of everything wrong someone has ever done. Little stuff is just that. Little. Let go of petty things to make room for good things.

3. You Know You (and Your Partner) Best
Whenever a wealthy celebrity man gets married, the bride is automatically labeled a gold digger in the blogs and tabloids. Is it possible some young girl is at the altar  saying her vows with her fingers crossed and a shovel under her dress? Sure. Is it possible a man who happens to be wealthy and  a woman who is not wealthy, genuinely and sincerely fell in love? Yep.  For every mean-spirited blog post written about such situations, just imagine the chatter the couple must receive from their inner circles about the other partner. In our non-celeb lives, the same thing happens, just without the media attention. Whoever you choose to confide in about your relationship (and everyone should have a non-partner confidant), listen to what they have to say, but don’t take it as gospel truth. Go with what feels like the right thing. There goes that gut check again.

4. Have Fun
Relationships of any sort take work, but my goodness, have some fun with it! Laughter is an essential part of life. Get a good dose of that.

5. Get Quality Alone Time
In the same way that you know the difference between actual quality time with your partner and just farting around with your partner, get in some quality time with yourself too. That means doing something you enjoy all by your lonesome. Try an hour a week and go from there.  I’m about to go back to doing weekly artist dates ( a la The Artist’s Way).

What were your big love lessons from 2011?

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Posted by on January 3, 2012 in Love


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