Writerly Romance: Loving = Reading

21 Jan

I write

In the second episode of season two of Girls**, Lena Dunham’s character Hannah is making excuses for the fact that her current romantic interest has not read an essay she wrote that she sent directly to him days before in hopes of getting a response. Her girlfriend stops her and says “If he’s not reading your essays, he’s not reading you.”

Nail, meet head.

As a writer, I do not expect whoever I’m dating to read every single thing I’ve ever published, but if we are on the serious tip, he should have read at least some of my stuff. I would expect him to be inspired and intrigued enough to know what I do, how I write and what are the typical topics coming out of my pen. (If you’re feeling nostalgic, cue up the scene in Brown Sugar where Dre perfectly recites the opening line of his friend Sydney’s first published article. So cute! Warms up a writer’s heart.)

If you say you are really into me or that you love me, you have to read me at least sometimes. It’s a must. If I send something directly to you asking for your input (not just expecting you to read every link I post on Twitter to everyone), you better read it, buddy.

I don’t think it’s possible to love me and not read any of my stuff. Writing is such a huge part of my life. It’s not “just” a job or a career for me, it’s something I am compelled to do every single day. It’s my second love.(Reading would be the first.)

So yeah, loving = reading.

What say you, fellow writers? Have you ever had to deal with a significant other who refused to read your work?

**SIDE NOTE: There is a brilliant scene between Hannah and her love interest Sandy in this episode. They talk about race and relationships very candidly and the writing is right on the money. Check it out if you can. Also, Donald Glover is great in this role. 


Posted by on January 21, 2013 in Creativity, Writerly Things


Tags: , , , , , ,

5 responses to “Writerly Romance: Loving = Reading

  1. Julie Israel

    January 22, 2013 at 12:37 am

    Never “refused,” no. But definitely could have been more interested in literature/recreational reading!

    I have actually wondered (being currently single) if I wouldn’t do well to date another writer. As you say, it is a HUGE part of my life, and I feel like there are some things about writing that only writers can understand. I mean, I’m sure it would work to date a non-writer, too, given other good circumstances. But reading! That’s gotta be a must, right? Wouldn’t expect anybody to read everything I write, but I should hope they’d be interested, at least, in the big stuff (i.e., novels)!

  2. Demetria Irwin

    January 22, 2013 at 12:45 am

    Thanks for commenting Julie! I’ve never seriously dated another writer. I’m not sure if that would work well. TWO, sensitive, moody writers pairing up? LOL I don’t know. I’d be open to at least try though, I think.

    And yeah, reading is a must. If you never read my stuff, you’re not that into me. Period.

  3. thejadednyer

    January 22, 2013 at 11:18 am

    This is all, WOW, how did you crawl into my head just now?? I don’t need someone to stroke my ego but I definitely need someone who appreciates the arts and will, from time to time, appreciate MY art.

  4. Demetria Irwin

    January 22, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    Thank you the Jaded Nyer! I’m all up in yo’ head! LOL Yeah, a dude has to have an interest in what I do. Got to!

  5. Spiryt

    January 27, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    I completely agree. I would think a man who is interested in a woman would have to take some interest in what she does, if only out of curiosity! When I tell a guy I’m a poet and he doesn’t ask to go to an open mic or ask to hear some of what I’ve written, I know what time it is…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: